Written by Candice
As I proud plant parent, overcome with joy at each milestone, I often text photos of my indoor Peace Lily to my family and friends.
Lily’s first milestone? A sprouted fern. Then, when spring came, she budded her first flower.
LILY GREW A LILY.
In the same way I receive a lack of enthusiasm from those I text Lily’s milestones to, there is another seed that when planted, no one cares to know about. However, this nasty seed is one we cannot help but notice, as it grows into a weed, spreading viciously, with the potential to take over an entire garden.
The weed that grows from the ‘seed of doubt’, unlike my housemate’s plant (which is shrivelled on our balcony to my horror), is difficult to kill.
Unlike my housemate’s plant (he didn't even name it), the unforgettable doubt weed is watered often. Soon enough this deceptive little seed looks as scary as the plants found in the greenhouse at Hogwarts!
By now I hope you understand my analogy for the mental state people succumb to.
The things that make up who we are (work, relationships, health, image etc) can be consumed by doubt. We must learn to treat our doubts with the same disregard as my housemate does his plant-child.
Somebody call the Botanic Welfare, ‘cos these kids are goin’ hungry tonight.
Some people doubt themselves and their abilities quicker than others. I tend to be one of these people.
I’ve stuffed up at work and believed I mustn’t be that fabulous employee who doesn’t miss a thing.
I’ve made the decision to end relationships, but because the people I dated didn’t try to win me back ASAP, my ego was bruised and so I doubted if I was ever worth fighting for to begin with.
Hell, I’ve even doubted that I can hold conversations with people. If you know me well, then you’d agree this is THE STUPIDEST DOUBT EVER.
Our morals and beliefs shift quickly from the moment doubt is planted. We tend to think our morals define who we are and form our identity so this shift can be a problem.
The quicker the seed is watered with supporting evidence (we are negative bias so the evidence is usually against our favour), the quicker our mind concludes that these shifts of moral have revealed WHO WE REALLY ARE.
“I’m supposed to be an organised person, but I mustn’t be as I’ve stuffed this up big time. I’m shit at my job.”
“I’m supposed to be lovable, but it seems I am not because he couldn’t say ‘I love you’.”
“I’m supposed to be a good decision maker, but lately I’ve gone down the wrong path a couple of times, so I guess I am a terrible decision maker after all.”
“Who have I become?”
Try killing these doubts quickly. Tough, huh?
We forget to look at the opposing evidence because the doubt weed is all we can see.
We need to remind ourselves that self-doubt is not another human telling us who they see us as. It’s really only words spreading through our mind, accumulating other shitty words (evidence) and then spreading further.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but remember the part about the words?
SO HOW THE F*CK DO WE KILL THIS BLOODY WEED?
I’m not a green thumb so the blog title is misleading. I cannot tell you how to weed your own garden.
My belief is that doubts don’t define who we are, or have the power to change our identity.
We’re a lot more than the words that pop up in our head. We’re many contradicting things actually, and that’s totally okay!
“Life can be many things at once, just like you” – Dallas Clayton
Candice's weeding tips:
Do you have any weeding tips?
Identifying the seed of doubt is important so that you can nip it in the bud early. BOOM - sick of my gardening puns yet? I’m not.
Once you can recognise that the seed you’ve planted is actually a shitty ugly weed that you don’t want to take photos of, you choose to water your ACTUAL LIVING PLANTS. That’s when the good stuff begins to blossom.
Seed of Doubt:
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